One of my favourite little corny phrases goes as follows:
Dance like nobody's watching
Sing like nobody's listening
Love like you've never been hurt.
There are many variations on this, and they're on all types of inspirational posters, wall decals, etc. While I tend to dance like nobody's watching all the time, and sing whatever way I want, this little diddy speaks to me on a deeper level.
A few years ago I got into a difficult situation with one of my coworkers, who was a good friend of mine at the time. Some awful comments came out of her during our disagreement, and she was pretty critical of how I carry myself in the building. Our friendship was forever changed because of this situation, and a few moments from our disagreement are burned in my brain. Here's why...
Colleague: [Ms. Walker], you walk around here like you can afford to lost your job. You take risks that other people wouldn't take and it almost flaunts that fact that if you got fired, you'd be able to go home to your parents and they would take care of you and you would be fine. And you always do it 'for the sake of the kids' but real people can't do what you do because we can't afford to lose our jobs."
Me: [Long pause] Um, well, I don't try to act like that. And while you're probably right that my parents wouldn't let me live on the street if it came to that, I do what I do because it's the RIGHT thing for children. If that is going to get my fired, then so be it. But I bet I would be infinitely more devastated than the majority of people in this building if I was fired because this job means more to me than a paycheck, and that's why I do what I do every day.
Colleague: I'm just telling you people don't like how you walk around here, acting like you've got nothing to lose. We have A LOT to lose.
Now, of course, there are many offensive parts to this conversation. But let's look past that for a second. Let's focus on the following:
Colleague: [Ms. Walker], you walk around here like you can afford to lost your job. You take risks that other people wouldn't take and it almost flaunts that fact that if you got fired, you'd be able to go home to your parents and they would take care of you and you would be fine. And you always do it 'for the sake of the kids' but real people can't do what you do because we can't afford to lose our jobs."
Me: [Long pause] Um, well, I don't try to act like that. And while you're probably right that my parents wouldn't let me live on the street if it came to that, I do what I do because it's the RIGHT thing for children. If that is going to get my fired, then so be it. But I bet I would be infinitely more devastated than the majority of people in this building if I was fired because this job means more to me than a paycheck, and that's why I do what I do every day.
Colleague: I'm just telling you people don't like how you walk around here, acting like you've got nothing to lose. We have A LOT to lose.
To be fair, she is right about a few things. If I was fired tomorrow (God forbid), I wouldn't have to worry about finances as much as the average person. I am extraordinarily fortunate to have parents who are able to help me when I stumble as an adult. While I do have my own savings and would be relatively fine without assistance, it never hurts to know that if all went to hell, they'd have my back.
I bring this up now because I was having a conversation today with Mr. Social Worker that reminded me of this moment. He was explaining to me how he was beyond frustrated with the bureaucracy that is DCPS and how they ask for arbitrary information in order to appease their boss instead of thinking of realistic and effectively solutions to problems. I sympathize and told him that's often why there is such a high turnover rate in this school system. You can either care and try to change the system to the point where you burn out or get out, or you can become apathetic and let the bureaucracy continue as is. The conversation turned into a discussion about working smarter not harder, and other shared philosophies we have.
Then it got intimate. He told me his fantasy.
Mr. Social Worker's fantasy is to win the lottery. The Megamillions or something like that where you get $20 million or something ridiculous. However, unlike most people, he would still come to work every day, as usual, and do what he loves doing: working with troubled kids. The only difference between real life and his fantasy is that when people asked him to do things that he knew wouldn't directly benefit kids, he could say no and not worry about his family's security. He could break rules and not worry. He could speak freely and do what was right by kids 100% of the time.
He could take risks that others couldn't take and walk around like he could afford to lose his job.
Sound familiar?
If the ultimate fantasy is to be able to take risks without the "life cost", why can't we operate like that every day? I've apparently been acting like that since Day 1 and it's only brought great things to our self-contained programming. It attempted to bring academic integrity to our athletics program. It brought on a completely different type of sports team. It allowed us to redefine what an education looks like for people with Intellectual Disabilities in DCPS. It defied what others expected of students with Emotional Disabilities and Specific Learning Disabilities. All of this happened because when you do the right things for kids, they blossom, grow, and defy all odds.
I fantasize that one day everyone will be able to dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, and take risks for kids like they can afford to lose their jobs. Maybe then our school would be functional.
Dance like nobody's watching
Sing like nobody's listening
Love like you've never been hurt.
There are many variations on this, and they're on all types of inspirational posters, wall decals, etc. While I tend to dance like nobody's watching all the time, and sing whatever way I want, this little diddy speaks to me on a deeper level.
A few years ago I got into a difficult situation with one of my coworkers, who was a good friend of mine at the time. Some awful comments came out of her during our disagreement, and she was pretty critical of how I carry myself in the building. Our friendship was forever changed because of this situation, and a few moments from our disagreement are burned in my brain. Here's why...
Colleague: [Ms. Walker], you walk around here like you can afford to lost your job. You take risks that other people wouldn't take and it almost flaunts that fact that if you got fired, you'd be able to go home to your parents and they would take care of you and you would be fine. And you always do it 'for the sake of the kids' but real people can't do what you do because we can't afford to lose our jobs."
Me: [Long pause] Um, well, I don't try to act like that. And while you're probably right that my parents wouldn't let me live on the street if it came to that, I do what I do because it's the RIGHT thing for children. If that is going to get my fired, then so be it. But I bet I would be infinitely more devastated than the majority of people in this building if I was fired because this job means more to me than a paycheck, and that's why I do what I do every day.
Colleague: I'm just telling you people don't like how you walk around here, acting like you've got nothing to lose. We have A LOT to lose.
Now, of course, there are many offensive parts to this conversation. But let's look past that for a second. Let's focus on the following:
Colleague: [Ms. Walker], you walk around here like you can afford to lost your job. You take risks that other people wouldn't take and it almost flaunts that fact that if you got fired, you'd be able to go home to your parents and they would take care of you and you would be fine. And you always do it 'for the sake of the kids' but real people can't do what you do because we can't afford to lose our jobs."
Me: [Long pause] Um, well, I don't try to act like that. And while you're probably right that my parents wouldn't let me live on the street if it came to that, I do what I do because it's the RIGHT thing for children. If that is going to get my fired, then so be it. But I bet I would be infinitely more devastated than the majority of people in this building if I was fired because this job means more to me than a paycheck, and that's why I do what I do every day.
Colleague: I'm just telling you people don't like how you walk around here, acting like you've got nothing to lose. We have A LOT to lose.
To be fair, she is right about a few things. If I was fired tomorrow (God forbid), I wouldn't have to worry about finances as much as the average person. I am extraordinarily fortunate to have parents who are able to help me when I stumble as an adult. While I do have my own savings and would be relatively fine without assistance, it never hurts to know that if all went to hell, they'd have my back.
I bring this up now because I was having a conversation today with Mr. Social Worker that reminded me of this moment. He was explaining to me how he was beyond frustrated with the bureaucracy that is DCPS and how they ask for arbitrary information in order to appease their boss instead of thinking of realistic and effectively solutions to problems. I sympathize and told him that's often why there is such a high turnover rate in this school system. You can either care and try to change the system to the point where you burn out or get out, or you can become apathetic and let the bureaucracy continue as is. The conversation turned into a discussion about working smarter not harder, and other shared philosophies we have.
Then it got intimate. He told me his fantasy.
Mr. Social Worker's fantasy is to win the lottery. The Megamillions or something like that where you get $20 million or something ridiculous. However, unlike most people, he would still come to work every day, as usual, and do what he loves doing: working with troubled kids. The only difference between real life and his fantasy is that when people asked him to do things that he knew wouldn't directly benefit kids, he could say no and not worry about his family's security. He could break rules and not worry. He could speak freely and do what was right by kids 100% of the time.
He could take risks that others couldn't take and walk around like he could afford to lose his job.
Sound familiar?
If the ultimate fantasy is to be able to take risks without the "life cost", why can't we operate like that every day? I've apparently been acting like that since Day 1 and it's only brought great things to our self-contained programming. It attempted to bring academic integrity to our athletics program. It brought on a completely different type of sports team. It allowed us to redefine what an education looks like for people with Intellectual Disabilities in DCPS. It defied what others expected of students with Emotional Disabilities and Specific Learning Disabilities. All of this happened because when you do the right things for kids, they blossom, grow, and defy all odds.
I fantasize that one day everyone will be able to dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, and take risks for kids like they can afford to lose their jobs. Maybe then our school would be functional.
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