Do It Anyway vs. Do It My Way

Every generation wants to be known for something great. Something they fought for.

Surviving the Great Depression
Fighting WWII
Fighting for Equal Rights (For anyone and everyone)
Fighting in Vietnam ("A" for effort)
Protesting Vietnam (Again, "A" for effort)
Not supporting the War in Iraq (Is that actually great?)
Electing the first Black President into office
Working towards legalizing Gay Marriage
Supporting Universal Healthcare (Again, debatable on whether this counts.)

Regardless of whether it's popularly great or just great because it's the first time it's done, these are all things that generations have clung to in order to form their identity.

I read a book recently called Do it Anyway: The New Generation of Activists by Courtney E. Martin. It was about my generation and what our great thing is, what we're fighting for. She begins with a verse written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. 
       Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
       Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
       Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
       Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others will destroy overnight.
       Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
       Be happy anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten.
       Do good anyway.
Give the best you have and it will never be enough.
       Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

When I saw this on the first page I laughed to myself, as it immediately made me think of my father. He always gives me these doofy wooden plaques to hang up in my classroom. They usually say something goofy, always something inspiring. When he gave me one that said Mother Theresa's verse, I looked at him rather confused, because we are not religious people. I asked him why he gave me something about God to hang up in my classroom.

"It's not about God, [Ms. Walker], it's about doing the right thing no matter what. Your kids need to know that more than anyone."

He was right. My kids will be faced with significantly more wrongs than rights. They will be burned by doing the right thing 10x more than I am. They will have more times up at bat with the choice to choose between right and wrong. They must remember that what matters is that you are a good person, regardless of motive. It's not about who you do it for, or what could happen if I do it, but why you do it.

The book continues into vignettes of 8 different Do It Anyway people. Each person has committed their life to fighting against injustice. This injustice may be in the classroom, in our justice system, with our veterans, captured by film, fought through philanthropic support, or abroad as a peace activist. The injustice is against a group of people, but they believe in the greater cause of fighting all injustice. Unfortunately, it's ineffective to fight injustice on such a broad scale, so one must focus on where their passion lies and fight there.

As I read through each vignette, I was baffled by seeing an average person do extraordinary things. They were often on a small scale, reaching no more than 1,000 people per activist. Although this scale is small in comparison to the Million Man March, it felt as though each activists' passion was as large as a million men. Could this be my generation? The everyday activist, committing their life to fighting the injustices of the world by planting themselves within the system and throwing wrenches in each defective cog?

I definitely identified with this person. I have decided to commit my life to fighting injustice within not only urban education, but special education. While my impact has only reached 60 students in my classrooms, the systems I've put in place in my school will eventually effect hundreds of children, maybe thousands if I play my cards right. I know that my students are getting a better quality education because I'm there. They have more opportunities now than they or their parents dreamed of because of work that I've done. So am I the everyday activist that Martin talks about?

Many of my peers can relate to Martin's message. We are the generation of Do It Anyway, fight because it's the right fight, it's not hopeless, and it's not about you, it's about the people you do it for. We're the selfless generation who fights for others for the long haul at great personal cost. Doesn't that sound romantic? As if we're everyday martyrs?

Well, I feel as though this mindset has inflated the heads of the majority of my generation, because while I see many Do It Anyway activists, I see many more Do It My Way activists. These activists are doing things that the Do It Anyway activists fight for on the daily basis, but change it up to fit their lifestyle and culture. It usually involves a flashy sign, an occasional protest with no clear end goal or vision, and misguided focus as to what the actual injustice is.

The most recent epidemic of Do It My Way is the Trayvon Martin story. By now, the entire nation has heard about Trayvon's tragic death. That he was shot by a man who claimed "self defense". Trayvon was wearing a hoodie, carrying Skittles and an ice tea while walking back home. The shooter has not been charged in the shooting, which has brought into question the circumstances leading to this tragedy. There is enough concern that there are federal investigators involved at this point.

This event has caused an explosion in both traditional media as well as social, in the form of news articles, pictures of people wearing their hoodies, and commentary about how racism is still alive and kicking here in the United States of America. This news is all presented as if this is a shock, as if this is not the norm in numerous towns and cities across America. Therefore we must avenge this one boy's death and fight racism here in the United States, once and for all.

Now, the Do It Anyway people have been fighting this all along. Fighting ignorance. Fighting racial profiling. Fighting a judiciary system that incarcerates one in three black men between the ages of 18-30. Fighting institutionalized racism in our Land of the Free. They find ways to fight this injustice using an everyday job, so they can fight the injustice everyday.

On the flip side, the Do It My Way people have been given an opportunity to fight on their own time, in their own way. This is through their pictures posted to Facebook, where they carefully place their hoodie to show their face with dramatic lighting and perfect makeup. This is through their Saturday spent on Freedom Plaza, wearing their hoodies, carrying their skittles, and making their signs about them being Trayvon Martin. What is the message that someone takes away from this? That YOU are Trayvon Martin. A suspicious person in a hoodie. That you could be a victim of injustice. Everyone is at risk, because people of all races gathered, wearing their hoods, and raised their hand when asked "Who here is Trayvon Martin?" But is that true? Is everyone really Trayvon Martin?

No. Just Trayvon. Not everyone can be the boy who was walking home in a hoodie. Let Trayvon be the matryr that we are making him into. Let him be the rallying point, but don't make it about you by saying that YOU are this lost child. Instead of wearing your hoodie, what are you going to do to systemically change this injustice? This is not about you identifying with Trayvon, this is about you fighting for him. So how will you fight?

After the big flare up, what will likely happen is the following:

- The majority of the Do It My Way will fall back into their everyday and use Trayvon as a conversation piece, still agreeing it was a great injustice that this poor child had to die due to ignorance and racism.

- Some of the Do It My Way will find Do It Anyway people and follow the work that they've been doing, giving more time than before to fighting injustices in our country.

- A few of the Do It My Way will be converted into Do It Anyway people and shift their life path to fight the injustice of institutionalized racism and racial profiling.

- The Do It Anyway will continue to do what they do, everyday, to fight the injustices against minorities in our country.

I am strong in my identity as a Do It Anyway person. I promise to commit my life to fighting injustices in our nation's education system that target children in low income communities, as well as people with special needs. I fight this fight every day by giving my students the same education I would give their wealthy, white counterparts in our nation's wealthiest counties. I invest [some may say sacrifice] my time, my money, and occasionally my sanity to carry out my daily duties as a soldier on the front lines of the achievement gap.

I will fight for what I believe to be right at all costs, against all odds, and with all my power. Even when I am faced with the impossible, I will Do It Anyway.

Will you?

"You should know there's a bomb in the school." [Snickering in the background]

When it gets warm, everyone gets antsy. It's finally spring, and the students knew exactly how to celebrate this gorgeous weather...

Call in bomb threats. Every day. For a week.

This is what is supposed to happen:

1. A blocked number shows up on the main line for the school. Ms. K or Ms. P picks up the phone.
2. A kid disguises their voice and says that there is a bomb in the school.
3. Everyone with a radio is notified that we must evacuate the building.
4. The fire alarm is pulled.
5. The school evacuates and goes to sit on the far bleachers, where there is no shade from the unrelenting sun.
6. We sit there, theoretically by class, until the SWAT team comes to the school and clears the building. Teachers are to be on the bleachers with their students, administration to be scattered along the front to keep an eye on everything.
7. Everyone with a radio is given the go ahead and staff start moving students back inside.
8. Classes resume where they were until a modified schedule is sent out and an announcement is made.
9. Day continues.

Estimated length of disruption: 1-2 hours

This is what actually happens:

1. A blocked number shows up on the main line for the school. Ms. K or Ms. P picks up the phone.
2. A kid disguises their voice and says that there is a bomb in the school.
3. Everyone with a radio is notified that we must evacuate the building.
4. The fire alarm is pulled.
5. (Most) teachers pack up their bags and grab their belongings, students are asked to finish the sentence or assignment they're on. Students start yelling and acting like there is a legitimate threat of the building blowing up. The teacher continues to pack their things as students walk out of the classroom unescorted.
6. Security is rushing kids down the hall, telling them to go to the bleachers.
7. When outside, students wander around the football field until herded like cattle by the teachers onto the far bleachers, where there is no shade from the unrelenting sun.
8. 70% of teachers watch their students go into the stands, then sit/stand on the field and chat with their colleagues.
9. 30% of teachers go into the bleachers and sit with their students or occupy a section that does not have any adults.
10. Deans/administration stand in the middle of the football field, facing the bleachers, speaking over the radio about whether everyone is accounted for or not.
11. While waiting on the bleachers for the SWAT team to arrive and clear the building, at least 2 fights break out, where the teachers who are sitting in the stands are the ones to continually break them up. Administrative support arrives after the fight has been mostly broken up and take the offending students off the bleachers.
12. A few more teachers go down to the field as they do not feel like breaking up fights.
13. A teacher or two comes onto the bleachers and positions themselves in sections where adults may be needed.
14. Students become restless and begin leaving the bleachers, first in small groups, and walking towards the gate to try and leave (which is supposed to be locked).
15. As students on the bleachers notice those students who have left the bleachers are not being stopped because adults are busy talking, a mass exodus occurs, with 70-80% of the students leaving the bleachers and attempting to leave the school.
16. Adults attempt to keep these kids back, but fail, as the masses are stronger and don't seem to care about pushing authority, and ultimately step out of the way to avoid injury.
17. The students who are left on the bleachers wait until the administration has deemed it ok to re-enter the building, then go back to their classes.
18. Teachers re-enter the building and go to their classrooms.
19. Classes resume where they were until a modified schedule is sent out and an announcement is made.
20. Day continues with around 100-200 students left in the building.

Actual length of disruption: 2-4 hours (depending on the day)

There are many things that are mind blowing about this scenario....

Let's start with that this happened 3 days in a row. Monday - Wednesday. Thursday came around and I started carrying a Bomb Threat Bag (BTB) because I had 4 meetings on Thursday that had to happen. I told the Cluster Team if there was a bomb threat that I was going out the FRONT door and holding my meetings on the street. They understood.

Second, if you know that blocked numbers are calling in bomb threats, why are you continuing to pick up the phone? This happens every year... Live and learn. It took until Thursday for the school to stop picking up blocked numbers.

Third, let's revisit where adults were during this entire scenario. I have many ideas for how to strategically place adults during such events as to prevent ANY fights from breaking out. None of these ideas were implemented as I was clearly told, "We need to be on the field so we can see what's going on in the bleachers." But... if you were in the bleachers there wouldn't be anything to see.... you could use your radios to communicate what's going on. "No, but then we wouldn't have a clear picture of what was going on and where we needed to be." Oh, of course. My mistake...?

My final point will be focused on the mass exodus of students. To be honest... I have no words for this symbol of incompetency. I feel the image says it all...


Just another week in DCPS.

Sick Day

For someone with such a bad immune system, it's illogical how healthy I am. Only when Mother Nature interferes with my life in the form of seasonal shifts do I get sick. (Her and my chronic Strep Throat that pops up if I don't get enough sleep.) Each school year I have gotten sick only once, and it was either in the Fall around November or it was in the Spring, right around now, March.

My first year I didn't take a single day off. I came to school with a nasty sinus infection because I was worried the children would eat my co-teacher if given the opportunity. What actually happened was the kids forced me to sit the entire day, at my desk, and watch them learn. They took turns babysitting me, plopping themselves in the desk right next to mine, and if I tried to get up and teach they sat me back down and told me to "chill out" because I was "doin' too much." It was a warped version of a sick day.

My second year, I was getting sick and couldn't afford to miss a day later in the week, so decided to take a preemptive sick day to try and beat the sinus infection out of me before it got too bad. Well, that didn't quite go to plan as I received a phone call around 1pm from Ms. C. "I wouldn't call you on a sick day unless it were a real emergency... and this is a real emergency." It turns out that JB got into a fight and was handcuffed by the police. He was hysterically crying, asking for me to come to him, and Ms. C decided that was the time to call me. I went and picked up JB's mother, who the school had not contacted, and brought her in for our parent-dean conference with JB. When I walked in the front door the staff looked at me and I just repeated, "I'm not here, you don't see me." And they laughed, telling me they knew it couldn't be true that I would take a sick day.

This year, I got a real sick day. I have a sinus infection that could kill a small child. I went to work yesterday, threatening to leave in the middle of the day, but waited it out until 3:15p so I could drive DO home. I came home and went to bed at 7pm. When my alarm went off at 5:00a, I just knew I wasn't going to make it. Remaining optimistic, I reset my alarm for 6am and went back to sleep, except I couldn't. The pain in my throat made me think I had knives for dinner instead of soup, my ears felt as though they were stuffed with cotton balls, and opening my eyes felt like I was pushing balloons around my skull. When my alarm went off at 6am, I cried uncle, and gave in to the sinus infection.

I texted Ms. C letting her know that I wasn't coming in and I would email her plans. I texted DO and asked if he could call Ms. L for a ride. (I then texted Ms. L to make sure that she got his message... DO can be a little absent minded in the mornings.) I emailed my administration that I would be out that day. I sent the other after school staff the print outs they needed and instructions for where to get various supplies. I then emailed groups of people for the meetings I had scheduled for that day. Lastly, I called DT, AR, and MD to let them know they will need to walk/take the bus to/from school. 35 minutes after I had gotten up, I took some more medicine and went back to sleep for 8 more hours.

When I woke up I had a small panic attack. I had slept through the entire school day. How was the day? Did everything go ok? Did they find everything?

About 10 minutes later I get a text from Mr. W, the teacher who's room after school takes place in...

Mr. W: Is there study hall today? Or SAT prep? I've got kids here for both

I called him and explained I was out and that the other staff should be there, they must be running a little late. Just as I was talking to him, they appeared, and he told me to go back to sleep because I sounded awful... "Thanks... you're so kind." "But really, you sound disgusting. Do something about that." What a great friend :) I knew the entire day couldn't go through without some type of school contact. Thankfully it wasn't another phone call about a student being arrested, as I would not have been able to get out of bed for that...

I went in and out of consciousness for a while, tried eating a little bit of soup, and then decided I would go for a walk and get some fresh air while running an errand. By the time I got back, I was exhausted - panting, sweating, and now dizzy. The walk had failed, miserably.

As the evening passed I slowly got texts and messages from various students, asking how I was doing. Interestingly enough, none of them are students that I teach, but all my kids from after school. They wanted to see if I was feeling better. Some wanted to let me know they missed me. All of them wanted to make sure that I was coming back tomorrow. I reassured them I was trying my best to be well for tomorrow, but I wouldn't make any promises.

At this rate, next year's sick day won't have any interruptions at all, except maybe some more love notes from kids. Those types of interruptions are always welcome.

Adult Supervision Required

Every kid needs time to be a kid. To say whatever you want to say, do whatever you want to do, be whoever you want to be. When I was growing up, this came in the form of play-dates, then sleepovers, then parties. It was a time when you learned how to handle social situations without your mother/father directing you how to play with someone else. You needed to navigate friendship independently. You needed to learn your limits socially and emotionally with friends and relationships. It was a time of exploration of the self, in a small, semi-controlled way.

In high school, I was fortunate enough to have a car at age 16, my license 4 months after that, and a credit card to pay for gas as I needed it. This allowed me to go to friends' houses, go out to eat, and attend social gatherings when I felt like it. All of my friends had houses that had enough space to fit as many people as we wanted to hang out with, usually between 4-8, and the refrigerator was always stocked (if it wasn't, we made sure to go get food to stock it.) It didn't matter what we did, all that mattered was that we had a space just to ourselves, where we could be us and not worry about adults watching our every move.

Most of my after school students are 16 and older, but none of them have cars. In addition, they have food at home (for the most part), but it's not overflowing for all to come and gorge on. Lastly, their homes are not exactly like the ones my friends and I grew up in, and have limited space for guests. Other than the physical constraints of hanging out, the emotional issues are even worse. It seems as though my students have significantly shorter tempers than my friends did growing up, and they are much faster to resort to violence to resolve their anger in a given situation. Their social IQs are also in question. They have grown up around so many bad influences that it is hard to believe not a single bad influence is going to rub off on them. When the teen pregnancy rate at our school is through the roof and the amount of drug-use rivals that of OTC medicines, it's difficult to believe that kids can handle their free time appropriately.

With that said, I can't think of a group of students who need unstructured safe free time more than students at my school. They are not given the opportunity to utilize free space because no one will trust them. Their predecessors made sure that the current students couldn't be trusted. In addition, one bad apple easily ruins the bunch. We had an issue earlier in the year with security, and therefore no students can come unless it's during regular security hours. These students are not given a space to BE teenagers. They are either in structured time (classes, study hall, sports, clubs) or they are not to be in the building (home, streets, friends' houses). The problem is, there are not enough safe recreational sites for our students to utilize those spaces for teen-time. The school is a safe-zone: a place that requires you to clear metal detectors and x-ray machines to enter. This is the best place for our kids to be (with home being a possible exception to this rule). Why are we so quick to kick them out?

The need for a safe recreational center became clear the other night when the athletes came to my room after practice (around 6:00p). They asked if I could bring my work in the gym and sit there while they played some basketball. My work was portable so I brought it with me and set up camp on the bleachers. It started with 5 kids. Then grew to 8. Then 13. Then 18. Then 20. Within 5 minutes the gym had become a local rec center. Kids formed teams and split the court up. They stayed on one side (as I had asked), and I plugged in my headphones so I didn't have to listen to their conversation. They were the happiest bunch of kids I'd seen in a while. They had been trusted with more freedom than they had felt in a long time. I didn't interfere with their "play time" and they let me do my work.

I was happy for them. They were able to be "normal" teenagers, even if it was only for an hour. When I needed to leave I gave a 10 minute warning and no one complained. As we left, they collected their stuff, cleaned up the space, and then left the building in their little clicks, walking home to their various neighborhoods. After we left the gym, I was a little sad. The kids realize that they are never trusted to just be by themselves. They will always require adult supervision (and security) in our school building. While I understand there are some teenagers who do need that kind of attention, the majority of the kids should be (and can be) trusted with unstructured free time in a recreational setting. However, thanks to the few bad apples that need the constant supervision, the bunch does not get to enjoy such luxuries.

How would you feel if you were constantly reminded that no matter how well you do in school, how hard you try to get good grades, or how closely you follow the rules, you will never be trusted to be in a recreational place without adult supervision AND security? I imagine it takes a toll and makes you feel as though you should live up to the expectation that you're doing something that makes you untrustworthy...

Also, how are you going to learn to "play" independently if we never give you the chance? You probably won't... Don't worry, we'll get mad at you later when you don't know how to handle free-time appropriately and resort to negative behaviors you learned from your predecessors who also didn't know how to appropriately handle leisure time.

Hopefully we can break this cycle and provide some unstructured safe free time; we should be good as long as I have a master key!